* MONDAY MORNING MAYHEM * RESULTS * MAY 22, 2012 *

We've got a number of wrestlers in the running and today we determine who will challenge Dr. Matsumoto for the World's Heavyweight Championship tomorrow at the Semi-Annual Wheezleton Memoriale Free-For-View.  As the Allman Brothers said, we ain't wastin' time no more - let's get down to the ring!

1)  Opening the card was Lassiter Arcade (Mick "Truck" Drivor) vs. Warlock Star (Millionaire) - the action was so quick, we actually had to watch the replay in slow motion to make any sense of what was happening.  After over eight minutes of intensity, the match ended like this...



3pts = Lassiter Arcade via pinfall @ 8:11

2)  Next up was Sgt. Octopus (Cesar Romero) taking on Danny Divine (Opulence Unlimited International) in a match which spilled outside the ring on several occasions and both men pushed beyond the limits of ordinary combatants.  Not unlike the gladiators of old, these grapplers did battle in a most furious manner.  Sgt. Octopus was, as usual, a master of the art of greco-roman grappling while Danny Divine proved himself to be a master manipulator of the highest order. 



3pts = Sgt. Octopus via pinfall @8:46

3)  JC Superstar (Millionaire) took on Tokyo Torres (Infierno) in a clash of styles.  Raw brutality went up against speed and technical ecstasy for over 6 minutes.  Unfortunately, when a group of rugged, jowl-faced men in red sweaters and domino masks surrounded the ring, the trouble began.

Their blue hats pulled low over their grizzled faces, these doglike men were identified only by the numbers they wore on their shirts, not unlike the numbers a prisoner might wear while incarcerated.  The men pulled a bag over the head of "The Millionaire" Matt Welz and carried him out of the arena before security had a chance to react.  Security cameras later showed these "boys", as they referred to themselves, tossing the Millionaire in the back of their non-descript van while shouting "Now yer gonna take us to yer vault and let us swim in yer money, you lousy duck!"

All of this distraction allowed Tokyo Torres to hit JC Superstar with Montezuma Fiji's Revenge, his deadly finishing maneuver.



3pts = Tokyo Torres via pinfall @6:02

4)  The long-standing rivalry between OUI and Cesar Romero was in full force tonight when Phantom Dandy (OUI) went toe-to-toe with Conrad Wolfsbane (Romero).  The momentum shifted often enough for any sane play-by-play man or color commentator to refer to is as "anybody's game", even spilling outside for a spell.  With so much on the line, it shouldn't be the least bit surprising to anyone.



3pts = Phantom Dandy via pinfall @7:25

5)  Our main event was a doozy with even more on the line.  As of this moment, we have FOUR #1 contenders tied at 6 points each (Superstar, Dandy, Torres and Octopus)... a victory for Maximus Von Zeus (Infierno) will catapult him into the #1 position with a grand total of 8 points.  But a loss means he's out of the running.  The odds are against the gods today as Von Zeus takes on the man currently known as the Greatest Wrestler in the World - Dr. Matsumoto (Drivor).

Before the match even reached the four minute mark, who should hit the ring but the other son of that other god, JC Superstar!  The referee, a devout Christian, barely paid him any attention, completely trusting that he couldn't have any wrongdoing on his mind.  How wrong he was to put his faith in the son of god!  When the ref was distracted, JC struck Von Zeus with a crucifixion nail made of pure gold!  1-2-3 and it was all over.



3pts = Dr. Matsumoto via pinfall @3:41

*** And there you have it, folks!  JC Superstar cost his greatest rival a shot at the World's Championship and in doing so, secured the right to challenge for the belt for himself and 3 others.

So here's what tomorrow's Free-For-View looks like:

10 superstars will take part in the Wheezleton Memoriale Battle Royale.  Each competitor will be awarded 2 points for each man they toss over the top rope and on to the floor below.  In addition, the winner will receive 5 points and a shot at the World's Heavyweight Championship under whatever stipulation they request.

ALSO: A 10-minute Championship Scramble for the World's Heavyweight Championship featuring Dr. Matsumoto, Tokyo Torres, Phantom Dandy,
Sgt. Octopus and JC Superstar.  The only pinfall that counts is the final pinfall and whomever scores it gets to walk out with the gold!  Tune in tomorrow for more awesomeness at the Semi-Annual Wheezleton Memoriale in honor of Charles "Stinkyteats" Wheezleton, the founder of the Nintendo Wrestling Alliance, Fantasy Unlimited Championship Rasslin' and the founding father of the modern age of professional fantasy wrestling.  May he rest in peace.

*** Talk your shit today and tune in tomorrow for the free-for-view!  The road to Slamarama begins tomorrow! ***