Managers, here's what we're looking at for next Monday's card...
(1) Conrad Wolfsbane (Cesar Romero) vs. Pierre St. Cloud (OUI) in an Inferno Match! In order to win, you have to set your opponent on fire!
(2) The Thrillionaire (Matt Welz) vs. The Phantom Dandy (OUI)
(3) Warlock Star (Welz) vs. Maximus Von Zeus (Tommy Huang)
We haven't heard hide nor hair of The Brown Hornet since this Monday's results were posted - therefore, we're going to have to book his matches for him!
* Cesar Romero and Tommy Huang expressed an interest in seeing Duke Alexander Stallion and Tokyo Torres mix it up and we're positive the fans feel the same way. These two stars possess similar high-flying, fast paced styles, which should make for an amazing matchup!
* Meanwhile, with no sign of life from The Brown Hornet, we're going to give him an opportunity to test the mettle of two FUCR superstars who didn't get signed this season. We speak of Battle Cat and Tiger Nightmare, collectively known as GRAPPLECATS, and they'll be taking on the team of the Negotiator and Lassiter Arcade in what will undoubtedly be a litterbox of tag team fury!
There you have it, managers and fans. Feel free to talk your shit.
PREPARE TO FEEL THE WRATH OF THE SON OF A BLACK HOLE!!! (if that's at all possible)
ReplyDeleteAlright, Huang. The time has come. You and that Japxican fella gotta take it to the hole and really pound it in! Let that Romero turkey and his nancy boy Stallion know what's what! Give 'em what for!
ReplyDeleteRooney, I understand you're of another era, but - damn, man. You call the Black Hornet colored, you refer to Tommy Huang as "that yellow kid" and what the hell is a Japxican?
ReplyDeleteOh, 1/2 Mexican 1/2 Japanese. I get it. Anyway, you just sound a little intolerant, that's all. Could you curb that a bit? I mean - it just sounds bad is all. Okay?
Oswald, I didn't watch my friends get blown to pieces at Pearl Harbor to sit here listening to your tree hugging hippie bullshit. Is that okay? Go pack up your bong or whatever it is you people do and let the Roons do what the Roons does best.
ReplyDeleteAaahhh ... back from a short trip to Rio De Janneiro where things are on fire. Not as much as you will be on fire Mr. St. Cloud. It's going to be glorious to watch my dear Conrad laugh as you are engulfed in flames! hahahahahahaha! It reminds me of my portrayal of Count Dracula on Rod Serling's 'Night Gallery' as I watched Richard Long's corpse burn!
ReplyDeleteAnd little Mr. Huang, I heard your Mr. Torres was in an accident while riding a horse. Bad balance perhaps? At least he is prepared to be trampled by my dear Stallion. It will be a gentelman's beating with a hooligan flair!
My only disappointment is that my prized Sgt. Octopus won't see action this week. He has cut himself off from all human contact in preperation for next weeks slaying of an unfortunate soul!
And thank you, Mr. Oswald. Rooney is out of control. I don't know if he's racist, though. The trannies in Rio had some wonderful, tawdry tales about his exploits! Maybe he's just partial to Sout American trannies, though.
Roons, I'm pretty sure you're right... you DIDN'T see your friends get get blown to pieces in Pearl Harbor because you never served in the military. Or were you filming Blue Hawaii when it got bombed?
ReplyDeleteYou ARE the son of a black hole, yo!
ReplyDeleteRooney stamp that. Duck is tasty, you just gotta pluck that shit and fry it. But you have to make sure you peel off the the little top coat thing and whatever the fuck those thing on his feet are, spats or some shit.
Rooney's cool, it's OK for people to be a little racist when their probably gonna die soon.
Cesar Romero, I still don't know what the fuck yer talking about. Anyway, your gonna lose but I'll be all respectful and shit cuz you're probably gonna die soon too.
Little Wang, I mean Huang, don't worry about 'respect' ... I'm going to teach you a lesson like I did Dick York during my appearance on Bewitched!
ReplyDeleteDamn right I'm cool! I'm the coolest cucumber up in this bitch, as you kids on the street say. You know all about that, right Cesar? Cucumbers, that is, you sick little man.
ReplyDeleteHuang, give 'em what for next week! Millionaire, I hope some hunter shoots you in the face and your bill spins around to the other side of your face. Oh wait, that was Daffy Duck. Well, you're daffy too!
Humbug!
Roons, I'm the one that swims in gold coins. My finisher back in the 80s was the "Money Shot" where the follow through of my punch would end on the ground, then I'd pee coins on your unconscious face after the 3 count. It's too bad my rasslin career was cut short due to hypertension...I'm not dropping dead from a heart attack in my 20s like 85% of the jabronis in this sport.
ReplyDelete