Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the abridged results. The WrestleMania weekend took its toll and our own schedule was rushed and cut short. But that didn't stop the action which saw...
1) Sgt. Octopus defeated JC Superstar via pinfall!
6 pts = Sgt. Octopus via pinfall @8:43
2) The Chadillac took on Lobo Uno to determine the new Undisputed Hungarian Commonwealth People's Heavyweight Champion of the World.
6 pts = Chadillac via pinfall @12:12
3) And finally, The Thrillionaire took on the man who defeated him last week - World's Heavyweight Champion "Kingbee" Willy Malone in a steel cage rematch! This time, it was The Thrillionaire who became a 2-time champion!
6 pts + 1 rematch point + 1 World Title point = The Thrillionaire via pinfall @ 7:43
... and that's this week's show! Short, but as sweet as you can get. Now get your challenges in.
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ReplyDeleteAs of this writing - ALL title challenges will be accepted from now until the end of the season, which will culminate at the SLAMARAMA free-for-view. There, the World's Heavyweight Champion will go toe-to-toe with the Undisputed Hungarian Commonwealth People's Heavyweight Champion of the World - WHOMEVER THOSE TWO WRESTLERS MAY BE!!!
(Any and all Worlds' Championship matches are subject to the rules and regulations of FUCR and the VGWA)
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Lobo Uno...you are one tough son of a bitch! That was a man's fight! This week, I'd like to ask you to partner up with The Chadillac, and challenge The Thrillionaire and a partner of his choice to a tag team throwdown! I know you got the balls...are you game? Will the Thrillionaire be able to find a partner, besides his right hand, to do battle with? Let's get this party STARTED!!!
ReplyDeleteLobo Uno, You need to stop hiding behind other rasslers to fight your fight. The Thrillionaire is not a little boy like Lobo. He fights for HIMSELF, which is what Lobo Uno should do... If he were a MAN!! The Thrillionaire wants to challenge LOBO UNO himself!!
ReplyDeleteIt's obviously what the HORDES and Hordes of FUCR fans want.
I'm not sure how the VGWA will accept this reply, but I do not accept your tag request (mainly because the entire show would then be 2 matches) because the MAN wants a fight, not a slumber party.
and no, the belt would not be on the line... YET!
ReplyDeleteMan up, Duckling! I know ducks only have cloacas (The cavity into which the intestinal, genital, and urinary tracts open in vertebrates such as fish, reptiles, birds, and some primitive mammals) and you shit and piss out of the same hole, but come on! Of course my protege accepts Simpleton's challenge, and Sgt. Octopus is there!
ReplyDeleteWatch out Bozo Uno, the Wealth Creators (Limbaugh and the Millionaire) are comin' to town, and we got a sequester ready to jam up your rear, right after our emergency managers tear apart your world! We're going to sell off your ASSets to our super rich buddies and leave you commies in the dust!
This season has been naught but a clusterfuck since the deaths of over 3/4 of our roster. Thanks to the efforts of our esteemed group of managers, it continues to be a clusterfuck to this day. Let's try to straighten it out.
ReplyDelete1) First things first - Simon Pimpleton challenged The Millionaire to a tag match. Challenges are accepted on a first come, first served basis, so the challenge stands.
2) Rush Limbaugh accepted said challenge and offered Sgt. Octopus as the Thrillionaire's parter. That will also stand.
3) Mick "Truck" Drivor hasn't said anything, so as far as we're concerned, that makes Lobo Uno the partner of The Chadillac.
4) the VGWA said that the titles should be on the line every week. Since the World's Championship has its own set of standards, here's how we're going to work it - The Hungarian Title will be on the line in the tag match and whomever scores the pinfall will be crowned the new champion!
5) JC Superstar will battle "Kingbee" Willy Malone to determine the #1 contender to whichever belt the winner wants!
Are we gonna unify them bitches or what? "whichever belt the winner wants" seems a little unsavory.
ReplyDeleteUnsurprising that the white man taketh away what Nature giveth. Even less surprising that the Millionaire finds fault in a golden goose. Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime. Give the Millionaire a gift, he wants to know why he didn't get two.
ReplyDeleteMy rematch plans halted, I do not grieve. For I know my future is already set in motion.
J.C. Superstar... know that with your defeat, the cream will rise to the top. Millionaire... know that the unsavory taste in your mouth will soon be gone. For I will smack it out.
That's right. Even the sage old Indian, standing firm while lamenting the rape and pillage of his land and his people, can make reference to smacking the taste of maize out of a man's mouth when pushed too far.
ReplyDeleteThe absent Lord of Lords will taste the sting first. Millionaire, it gives me great pleasure to think upon the destruction of your former charge, last year's Wrestler of the Year, J.C. Superstar.
Next, another former contractee, "Kingbee" Willy Malone, a man you led to the richest prize in the sport, will unleash his sting upon your Thrillionaire and REGAIN his World's Heavyweight Championship for a THIRD TIME!
The sting I speak of was dull and complacent under your guidance. But with the hand of Mother Nature at his back and the Wind of the Eagle driving his path, "Kingbee" Willy Malone is going to give you more than a taste of honey!
Looks like everyone wants something from Lobo Uno, the number one wolf. Not a problem. Theres plenty of ass whoopin to go around! Chadillac lets run these bitches over and show them the true meaning of the word pain.
ReplyDeleteRush Limbaugh and the Millionaire together at last for the first time, finally. Now the fans of wrestling will finally see what real American ingenuity and sticktoitiveness combined to form a corporation of skill and talent the likes of which none of you have ever seen!
ReplyDeleteGod bless America and God bless Rush and the Millionaire!
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ReplyDeleteWhat a joke FUCR has become.
ReplyDeleteIt says something about your management when nearly your entire roster dies and NO ONE steps up to the plate to fill their shoes. Because no sane wrestler would sign a contract with FUCR. No one would even volunteer to help out.
Thanks to the incessant whining of the Millionaire, the formerly-undisputed World's Heavyweight Championship has been rendered as little more than an afterthought or an extra piece of jewelry a wrestler wears to the ring only to be cast off with the rest of their entrance gear. He so shamed the title (not to mention the entirety of professional fantasy wrestling) that The Chadillac actually GAVE UP THE BELT rather than bear the shame that comes with wearing it.
But the Millionaire alone is not to blame. The finger must also be pointed at the FUCR Board of Directors, who allow the childish rantings of a spoiled, trust fund brat to dictate procedure. I expect immaturity from managers; I expect dignity from FUCR. I have found the former in spades, the latter is sorely lacking.
Speaking of immaturity: giving up the belt? Really, Simon Pimpleton? At least you have an excuse, considering you're not yet old enough to grow a mustache and the dream of even a faint glint of peach fuzz surrounding the fleshy satchel which houses your worthless testicles is still years away. But here's a lesson in being a man from old Uncle Karl: when you take your ball and go home, you're essentially admitting "I'm a big fucking pussy who cries when he falls down and skins his knee like a goddamn tiny pussy baby who shits his pants." Is that you, Simon? Is that pissy-shit that has soaked your diaper and now finds itself dribbling down your leg, staining the tops of your tube socks brown? I think it is. You stain the Hungarian Title in a similar fashion, you pissy-shitty diarrhea baby.
With the Millionaire, Rush Limbaugh and this Minkey fellow running rampant on the message boards, perhaps FUCR should be renamed "the Tea Party Wrestling Federation"? Exactly who is pulling the strings here?
In closing, I am sorely disappointed in this season. At least Mick Drivor and Poppin' Corn seem to carry themselves with some shred of dignity and self-respect. I used to have respect for FUCR and for the World's Championship. Now I just snicker and laugh, as one does when the overweight slut who gives blowjobs on the back of the school bus walks by during lunch hour.
Is Frontier Anarchy Grappling Syndicate ever coming back?
ReplyDeleteNubes, maybe it was your lack of appearances on these boards that created the complacency of 2013. There was no "dad" to keep everybody in shape.
ReplyDeleteListen,up Duck Nuts...I see know "complacency" this season. Just "cuntsplaywithme"...ya' fucking CUNT! WHooo daddy! The Mechanix and the Chadillac just put the fuckin' coon tune on this bitch, and we're running like a raped ape, Son! Get the fuck out the road, or become part of it! WHOooooo!
ReplyDelete