Ladies and gentlemen, it's the final show before the biggest free-for-view event of the season - SLAMARAMA! Tonight both titles are on the line, but before we start, lets listen to the VGWA Board of Directors discuss the history of both belts as well as the organization...
It only seems right to honor the memory of the fallen roster by honoring the legacy of the Hungarian Title. A title which was despised by Charles "Stinkyteats" Wheezleton when he broke away from the VGWA, accusing them of bribery, bias, corruption and all manner of foul play. Holding a tournament to crown a World's Champion, Wheezleton stole a prominent VGWA superstar in the form of Monte Altazzar and put the belt around his waist. Other stars defected including Pappy, "Kentucky" Jon Derby and the Manimal.
In time, as FUCR grew, the World's Championship supplanted the Hungarian title as the most prominent singles championship in the minds of the fans. The Hungarian Championship was retired as an active title and became an annual event as FUCR fell under the guidance of Ebeneezer Wheezleton when Charles was struck by a mysterious and completely natural death with no suggestion of foul pay.
Controversy surrounded FUCR for years as ownership was in dispute. Monte Altazzar was killed in a hideous gangland crime which remains unsolved to this day. For a time, the Frontier Anarchy Grappling Syndicate managed to wrest control of the World's Championship. But FUCR has always returned, like a phoenix from the ashes.
Now... with the Wheezleton Family's flame extinguished, the traitor Monte Altazzar dead and the Undisputed Hungarian Commonwealth People's Heavyweight Championship of the World re-activated while the World's Heavyweight Championship is very much disputed due to The Chadillac refusing the belt as well as 3/4 of the roster dying in a freak accident... the two most respected championships both be on the line at SLAMARAMA!
But first - this week's matches!
1) First, the Undisputed Hungarian Commonwealth People's Heavyweight Championship of the World was on the line in a three-way dance between reigning champion Sgt. Octopus, former champion The Chadillac and the uncrowned people's champion, Lobo Uno.
It was a 12 minute battle of wills... and in the end, the man trained by 50-time Hungarian Champion "Polish Prince" Chad Derdowski was victorious by pinning Lobo Uno.
7pts = Chadillac via pinfall @ 12:14
2) Next, the 3rd and final match in a series. Both men are now 2-time World's Champions and both men are "second generation superstars", having been trained by legends of the business. Ladies and gentlemen, "Kingbee" Willy Malone seeks to regain the richest prize in the sport when he squares off against current champion The Thrillionaire!
It was a match to end all matches. And in the end...
9pts = "Kingbee" Willy Malone via submission @ 11:49
After the match, Malone grabbed a microphone and called Chadillac to the ring. The two champions stood face to face... Malone reminded the crowd that Chadillac gave up the World's Championship not too long ago. He reminded the fans that this action caused the title to fall into dispute. He said that when he defeats Chadillac and holds both titles at SLAMARAMA next week, he will erase all doubts.
Chadillac responded with a boot to the face and left Malone lying in the ring.
NEXT WEEK - SLAMARAMA! Undisputed Hungarian Commonwealth People's Heavyweight Champion of the World THE CHADILLAC vs. World's Heavyweight Champion "KINGBEE" WILLY MALONE in a 2-out-of-3 falls lumberjack match!
The main event is set, but you can still issue challenges! Maybe we'll see a tag match? Maybe a mini-battle royal? Maybe a table match? Its up to you!
And don't forget - next week Dr. Sydney M. Basil will reveal the results - who IS Simon Pimpleton's father?
25.4.13
18.4.13
* FUCR FRIDAY * 4/19/13 * RESULTS *
Noted wrestling doctor Sidney M. Basil, MD opened the show by addressing the crowd and addressing the frequent rumors regarding Simon Pimpleton. He recognized the fact that with the recent sadness resulting from the deceased roster and the controversy surrounding the World's Championship, many had forgotten a question which has plagued us all season - "Who is Simon Pimpleton's Father?" Basil assured fans that he had conducted rigorous tests which involved getting semen samples from each and every male fan who bought a ticket to a FUCR show in the past six months. We would have an answer, he said, and we'd have it at Slamarama!
Our opening match pitted two time World's Heavyweight Champion "Kingbee" Willy Malone (Poppin' Corn) against JC Superstar (Jesus Christ) with the winner being given a shot at whichever title they wanted. Poppin' Corn made it clear last week that he intends to cash in that shot against current World's Champion The Thrillionaire... which is good, because Malone won the match!
6pts = "Kingbee" Willy Malone via pinfall @ 6:32
The next match was a donnybrook, a slobberknocker and a barnburner rolled into a painful sandwich. World's Champion The Thrillionaire (Millionaire) teamed with Sgt. Octopus (Rush Limbaugh) to take on current Hungarian Champion The Chadillac (Simon Pimpleton) and Lobo Uno (Mick "Truck" Drivor). The match was especially noteworthy due to the fact that whichever wrestler scored a pinfall would take home the Hungarian Championship as a prize!
We're not gonna lie, folks. This match was goddamn brutal. It spilled outside several times and much blood was shed on both sides. It was a war of attrition which lasted nearly seventeen minutes and only ended when The Thrillionaire brutally beat upon Lobo Uno with a steel chair while Sgt. Octopus (the legal man) distracted the referee. Lobo Uno was counted out and the team of The Thrillionaire and Sgt. Octopus won the match by count out which, due to the altered rules of this abridged and abbreviated season, grants each team member the full six points!
And due to the ruling by members of the VGWA and FUCR Boards of Directors as well as the Hungarian Wrestling Council... Sgt. Octopus is the new Undisputed Hungarian Commonwealth People's Heavyweight Champion of the World!
6pts = Sgt. Octopus
6pts = Thrillionaire
Ladies and gentlemen, we've already got one match booked for next week - the ULTIMATE rematch between "Kingbee" Willy Malone and The Thrillionaire. 8 points and the World's Championship on the line. Two men. One ring. Three counts. Who will emerge victorious?
Everybody else - get your challenges in!
Our opening match pitted two time World's Heavyweight Champion "Kingbee" Willy Malone (Poppin' Corn) against JC Superstar (Jesus Christ) with the winner being given a shot at whichever title they wanted. Poppin' Corn made it clear last week that he intends to cash in that shot against current World's Champion The Thrillionaire... which is good, because Malone won the match!
6pts = "Kingbee" Willy Malone via pinfall @ 6:32
The next match was a donnybrook, a slobberknocker and a barnburner rolled into a painful sandwich. World's Champion The Thrillionaire (Millionaire) teamed with Sgt. Octopus (Rush Limbaugh) to take on current Hungarian Champion The Chadillac (Simon Pimpleton) and Lobo Uno (Mick "Truck" Drivor). The match was especially noteworthy due to the fact that whichever wrestler scored a pinfall would take home the Hungarian Championship as a prize!
We're not gonna lie, folks. This match was goddamn brutal. It spilled outside several times and much blood was shed on both sides. It was a war of attrition which lasted nearly seventeen minutes and only ended when The Thrillionaire brutally beat upon Lobo Uno with a steel chair while Sgt. Octopus (the legal man) distracted the referee. Lobo Uno was counted out and the team of The Thrillionaire and Sgt. Octopus won the match by count out which, due to the altered rules of this abridged and abbreviated season, grants each team member the full six points!
And due to the ruling by members of the VGWA and FUCR Boards of Directors as well as the Hungarian Wrestling Council... Sgt. Octopus is the new Undisputed Hungarian Commonwealth People's Heavyweight Champion of the World!
6pts = Sgt. Octopus
6pts = Thrillionaire
Ladies and gentlemen, we've already got one match booked for next week - the ULTIMATE rematch between "Kingbee" Willy Malone and The Thrillionaire. 8 points and the World's Championship on the line. Two men. One ring. Three counts. Who will emerge victorious?
Everybody else - get your challenges in!
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